Alhamdulillah...
I'm still scared though...to trust and I told him that. He understands and he's trying his best to regain that trust back from me. I'm slowly learning to trust again.
He's finally working full-time after all the waiting. I'm happy and thankful that he got a job that will at least determine everything...the future per say. I miss him sometimes for this time he's really far, far away from where I'm working...Jurong Island is really, really far away but I pray for his health, safety and happiness and hopefully things will prosper for him and me...of course.
We've been talking, planning and though I'm still hurt a little bit inside, I'm learning to let it all go. I can't forget the things that happened, it's just there...a scar that will remain there... always!
After the emotional lerdown, I am little concern about taking the next step but I have to trust and this time around, I guess it's time for the parents-to-meet-the-parents. It's giving me a little goosebump, not sure how this will turn out but hopefully it'll be ok....yikes.
On a lighter note, I prepared his first FULL-MEAL for work today. I woke up at 5am, prepared all the necessary ingredients and start cooking. It took me 1hr and 20 minutes to prepare everything for him. Everything I did reminded me of the things that I wish did not happen to me but this hurtful feeling only made me stronger and I told myself that sincerity comes from the heart and I know I love him a lot (if only he knows how much he means to me!) so the preparation was not too difficult for me.
I got a call during lunch time from his office and I was feeling a little nervous. I'm not sure whether the rice tasted fine, the vegetables and the main stew...it was just scary. But alhamdulillah he likes it and that made my day soon after. I have to cut down on the salt intake though, I overlook on this matter but the encouragement I had from him was good enough for me.
Back to the kitchen for tomorrow's full meal.....
Labels: cooking for love
