Happiness is not something which money can buy, it has to be sought and pursued.
How do you make everybody happy?
Sometimes the words that were spoken can hurt someone's feelings but deep down you knew that it was never your intention to hurt his/her feelings. All you want is to see them happy, you want to make everybody happy including yourself.
The process in itself is tedious. I feel that the hardest thing that exist in this world is, "making the people around you happy!"
The fact is, you just can't...all the time., no matter how hard you try.
It's a sad and depressing fact isn't it?
Tell me the worst part of this ordeal? While trying one's level best to make someone happy,someone else will get a little upset. One gets a little depress in the process of trying to make everybody happy.
It's sad,it's sad....
What does one have to do?You love the people around you but how can you be at a position where you don't compromise everyone's needs,desires and feelings...how?
A day for scrapbooking,although ehem2...we could have used the time wisely to do lots of things (but we did not...woops!)
I had my first try in scrapbooking thanks to adik Siti.
She has loads of scrapbooking stuff and the room feels like a mini scrap-booking workshop,hehehe. I made a card today, a simple card. It's a maiden attempt for me. So far so good...but Siti can make a better job than me, she's a pro.
Whatever it is, I had a great time doing it together with her, chatting away about stuff,gossiping (hahahaha!)
We're preparing ourselves for the upcoming flea market which we have both sign up for on the 21st June 2009. It will be held opposite my block in Yew Tee and we'll be selling handmade cards, bookmarks, self-decorative candles (I bet Siti will create wonders with the candles *winkz), CDs...OH YES...I finally decided to sell ALL my CDS including my all-time favourite band:Interpol.
I won't be selling the limited edition of it though and even if I have to, it'll be at the original price because you won't find it in the market.
The crowd as I predicted will be a mixture of young children and aunties so I bet my CDs won't work well with them since there's King of Leon, Kings of Convenience, Interpol, Greenday and many other bands involved. Adik managed to create a leaflet/brochure to advertise our products. I'll be listing down names of the bands as well so as to attract a younger crowd.
I do know that with the mass production of mp3s,psps and other downloading site available online, people don't really buy CDs anymore but hey it's worth a try.
All the CDs which was bought at HMV at the original price will be sold from $3- $12. My Backstreet Boys collection will be $5.00, LOL.....
It has come to my attention that there are times when Suriachannel lacks er.....(sorry, no offence) appeal HOWEVER......one show that will never be missed AND it is a must-watch-show for me: Erlin Montel.
LOL...random
I was looking for PVC sheet in my cupboard but there wasn't any. I stumbled upon hundreds of old and some recent photographs and I had fun looking at them. I had plenty of work to do but yet I did this....can you believe it?
Pure doodling, I love to doodle! I drew a monkey...a successful attempt for me...finally.... but it's not that perfect though.
Can you believe this? I dreamt about work...goodness!
Ahhh...my little hilly-billies....
The "lazy" meal...super fast and steady but not necessarily healthy!
Ok.....it's been a rollercoaster ride for me.
Besides juggling work at work, night class,tution and assignments, looking after the household is the last thing I would want to worry about.
I SERIOUSLY need to shop...yes...shop.
I have not been rewarding myself with anything and I'm feeling the blues already. I worked too hard but I hardly reward myself instead er...I gave out "my rewards" in a bid to make my loved ones happy. Classic altruism eh...hahaha....more like generosity.
My colleagues and I were just sharing our thoughts at work about our deadlines,newsletter,lesson plan, field trip and etc. It's driving me bonkers.
On top of that, the portfolios needs to be updated, this has been a constant failure for me since I always forget to update them. I'm just soooooooo tired...........very tired.
Perharps juggling tution,night class and work is too much for me? Hmmm...the thing is, I don't really feel tired during night class or during my tution with my 2 new students. I feel tired of work...yes my work at work. I still love my children though but I go 'weak in the knees' each time I make a checklist of the things that's needed to be done.
It gets so bad that I even see children in my dreams. It's bad when you dream about work,it's crazy.
On a lighter note, I've completed my assignment. I have loads of reading to do before my final practicum and examination,oh dear!!
Next month's expenditure is a little high (a little? Hahaha!)
Finally, we have decided to come to an agreement. I'll be managing the accounts starting on the 3rd week of June. We're starting small but I guess it's a stepping stone. We'll contribute a small amount to our "cold savings" weekly and I hope it goes well.
I have my assignment and presentation due next week. Die....
I'm feeling lethargic at work at times, a litte strange too at times. I'm not supposed to be feeling this way but somehow I'm feeling it, This is bad!
I attended my first class today...jolly molly... I was the youngest student amongst the 18 students in class. My coursemates were all above 30 years old and 85% of them are MARRIED with children.
I was feeling anxious and I almost peed in my pants when we went through the ice-breaker games. Suddenly, I felt strange for the first time. I'm usually a very laid-back,cool and calm person during ice-breaker games but this time around, I was so nervous.
Looking across the room at all these women, no...I should say Mothers and mothers-to-be, I felt so little. I felt like a wet pet who got stuck in the rain, pardon my pun.
Nevertheless, I enjoyed the class except for the yakking. I'm ok with yakking...but woah...these women can really,really,really yak and yak and yak. They yak about their children and I think we spent like 30 minutes debating on what's currently happening to their children. I'm like "oh gosh...I'm dying!"
My lecturer was this cool and boisterous woman,very "gila-gila" so the class wasn't boring at all. By the way, I'm taking a Phonics class.
So I guess it's au natural for all these mothers to be shrieking in madness knowing that there is so much in Phonics, the phonemes, the graphemes and all those general out-of-this world terms which I have never come across with. And guess what? Jeng jeng jeng....if you think primary school teachers, secondary school teachers,pre-U teachers or even your University lecturers are teaching you or speaking to you using proper pronounciation...uh-huh...you are wrong.
Wanna know why? I got to know that....that....uh-huh......some MOE teachers are not fully-equipped and well-versed in phonetics. Jeng jeng jeng....and that's a fact! So apa kata pay-cut for them huh huh huh?
I'm having a presentation in 4 weeks time, which is my practical exam followed by my theory exam soon after....oooooohhh....back to mugging. Oooooohhh...I miss mugging for exams.....sicko!
I thought I could escape with essays this time around but no......there's the usual mcqs, essay and the one which I don't really fancy: open-ended essays.......sheesh!
But, it's money worth paid for because everything is directly from Cambridge, London School of teaching so yeah....value for money.
I have to do a few readings this weekend. I have to participate in online forums, can you believe it? Part of my assignment and exam is based on my my participation online? I have to be active in the teaching forum and not to mention constantly updating on lesson plan.
Like woah..........I'm still getting used to being a student again!
I had this thought long way back...say 4 years ago.
I had this thought: I would like to pursue a career overseas.
I was indeed busy doing up some research,exploring and gathering facts and details about SEA countries, Middle East and last but not least, Down under.
There were great prospect overseas for Early Childhood education overseas. I was reading up on the early childhood prospects in UAE,Norway, Dubai, Indonesia, India and it was indeed intriguing. At the age of 20, I felt the adrenalin rush.
I was young, I had this crazy ambition but I HAVE NO MONEY!
Furthermore, my parents don't even know about this but I waited for an opportunity to tell them about this.
It's not easy but being young, I had the energy, the inner motivation to seek out whatever that's available out there.
I was fickle though. I was doing loads of contemplation until I narrowed down my choices: Dubai, Australia.
Then I told myself: So is this it?
3 years down the road, I started picking up new skills, made a few contacts around the world when suddenly I met...ehem ehem....the love of my life! (the present one)
I was over the moon...(oh come on, don't deny this, everyone knows how falling in love makes one feel!)
Suddenly, my goals and perspective in Life started to change. I started mapping out new possibilities in life. I've never considered marriage, children, owning a house but right after my 23rd birthday, things took a different toll.
I started bringing marriage into life. Ok...I'm not getting married now but it's just that, my goals have changed.
But...........
as time passes by and looking at the economy, the surrounding, I started digging back "the old facts."
Back then, being single, I had no one to worry for except maybe my family. But now, I'm sharing my life with someone. If God willing, He gives me positive signs to tell me that, "he is really the one!"
I had a minor discussion with Faz over this. He seems pretty 'ok' with it, hmmm..I don't know. My parents are worried when I blurted out the idea to them.
So Plan A still seems very blurry....still. I'm glad Nunu made a decision and kudos to her for making 'Down under' her home.
Anyway, so what's next?
Well.....house. Yes.....whatever it is... I would like to have my own house.
I told my parents about it and they were very supportive (but I can hear them chuckling to themselves at times!) and they told me to save up.
So...I guess for now....I don't know....it still seem so blurry.
For now, life means, waking up every morning to ----> "Good morning, good morning, it's nice to see your smiley face. Good morning, good morning to you and to me. Hello, how are you? Hello, how are you? Hello, how are you, how are you today?It's good to see Ms Ezan here......"
LOL....bummer
p/s: Oh goodness....potty-training is totally wacko-doodle. "Ms Ezan....I did my wee-wee already"........(on the floor....mak tolong aku!)
'Adik' gave me this song when I was really, really, really down.
I kept listening to it for god-knows-how-many-times and tears just kept on rolling...non-stop. Well,that was before when the ups were down and I was really, really,really,really,really down. Previous post about ehem2 my personal life will tell you why.
I love Indonesian music especially the bands. However, sorry to say, I no longer like the song,"Kekasih gelapku", it's really off my list (sorry nunu!)
No offence against the band( I love the band!) but it's just the title "Kekasih gelapku" really pisses me off over something, something which affected me real bad last month and I hated it, I despise it!
How do you quantify love?You can't...absolutely not. It's not about how many yards, how many days, how much money...hmmm...money!
Spending for your loved ones.
The reason for giving and sharing, it's never right and always rude to quantify but as humans, it is our nature to inadvertently do so...is it?
Does it mean that hmmm...if i buy mommy plenty of jewellery,roses or anything momsie,she'll love me more. No....that's rude. All the mommies in the world are less likely to be calculative,or parents for that matter.
How about husband and wife?Hmmm.......maybe. Your money is my money, my money is my money, our money is my money? Now...financial instability is inevitable in all married couples.
How about over-the-moon unwed couples?
Will my girlfriend/boyfriend love me more if i buy them stuff, pamper them with things, help them out financially when needed even though there's not much for oneself after that just to see them happy?
Do they love me for my money or me unconditionally?
Oh...I hate having such thoughts in my mind but after meeting with some friends who thrash(ed)-talk about their relationship, it makes me wonder.
I hate being around the devil's advocate(s) or being one for that matter.
Yes... I trimmed my hair...but........how I wish the hairdresser (though he was super cute!) was a little gentle with me. He was so rough...aiyoh...sakit man...
Mom's sick, had a fever of 39.1...like woah.....cost her a whooping $129.00 at the 24 hours Silver Cross clinic.
Sheesh...
Akimon's birthday was great.
Thanks Huda for the treat at Sakura International Buffet (must have cost you a bomb for all of us!) and Akim, we'll wish you again on the 15th May and pass your prezzie as well. Sabo the second time lah,LOL........
Wolverine was a so-so, I like it but...it could have been better.
Ezan - Epitome of Simplicity
The Ox, a yin, 25th September 1985
Always random, always patient, always listening
Pre-School Educator, always young at heart
Nature, sports and outdoor enthusiast
An avid walker and window-shopper
Soft spot for children....always *smiles
