Lazy Saturday morning till mid-evening.

I almost forgot about the gathering being held at my colleague's place in Potong Pasir. Upon arrival, I was greeted with hugs and smiles from all my ex-colleagues. I felt so "alive" even though all of us shared painful memories at our workplace back then.

Gossips as usual, that has never fail to entertain everyone. I pitied those who are still "serving their sentence" but they are finding other options so I'm glad that they did. The food was great!
I missed seeing all my "godmothers" (3 in total : mother from China, from India and Philippines)

These women really took good care of me and I really look up to them. We love each other so much. We had our share of fun and laughter too and I admit, it's been a long time since I had this much fun. I was laughing like crazy, almost got into a laughing fit just hearing their stories.

One of my colleague brought her other-half along and my my my, he's one fine young man. I hate to lie to my good friend but I believed, she found herself a good catch. He gave me some tips and suprisingly he "clicked" well with everyone else.

Food was great. There was pasta, tortillas, barbequed chicken, salad and my all-time favourite cooked by my Fillipino mom, "cheesy baked rice."

When it came down to me, oh well.....despite saying that I'm "glowing" all over, they said that deep down I was a different person. They said, I look sad despite the smile across my face.

Am I?

I believe the problem with me lies in ME. I am the problem!

I think too much...too much. I think too much of others and not myself. I call that a problem, a huge problem in Life.

I think too much up to the point where things are not happening yet I envisioned that it will happen soon. What the 'fish' is wrong with me?

Where matters of the heart is concerned, it is never that easy to make everyone happy...never!

When you make one happy,the other gets upset and you ended up feeling really, really bad and guilty. I hated that feeling, hated it so much.

All I wanted to do is make everyone happy. I guess I was afraid of losing someone along the way. To lose someone you love along the way is a huge loss for me....really!

Even now, I feel that I have lost some of most important people in life and I feel bad and sad over it.

They said that in Life, you win some, you lose some. You can't win all the way and you definitely won't lose all the way. In all fairness, only you can make the difference in building close rapport and strengthening the camarederie between your fellow comrades.

For now, I'm "sandwiched" in between. I am and I don't feel good. Losing one is a temporary loss for me but losing both means DEPRESSION.....and I do not want to end up this way...no way... I admit...I am not strong for this because I am human afterall.

We'll see how things go but for now.....all I have to do is pray for the best.

The heart is not content yet it is filled up, up to its brim.

I know people are unhappy,sad and possibly angry. They're controlling their emotion, their anger..only time can tell when such trivial matters can be resolve.

I've been feeling rather melancholic these days. I'm happy yet a little sad,hmm....hormonal changes perharps?

I'm procrastinating yet again. There's plenty of things to be done and I am feeling oh-so-lethargic just thinking about it.

What do I do?

Possibly some great place to hibernate, that's nice!

A "PHAT" day for me and you! *grins and burps, excuse me

Hi my name is ezan

Cool-ah..kulashakers shambles giler seh (whatever that means, I just made it up er...like seconds ago!)

I love you Huda, not because you have just created a super-duper ultra-cool blog for me but for everything,hehehe...you know I've always loved you,hehehehe!

I decided to have Huda's imprint here thus which is why I'm not deleting the opening credit by her...ceh ceh ceh...."Hi my name is ezan."

Now....a new chapter begins. All entries in 2008 are just little memoirs for me. All the nice little pictures, happy, crazy entries coupled with painful ones...oh well...life goes on!

This time, my goal: Make the entries as short as possible. I'm very long-winded at times so I need to curb it.

Thank you Huda, once again. I'll "belanja" you one buddy meal ok? (LOL....)

Thought for today:

Mistakes are mistakes, though it's repetitive, learn from it. As human, we do err but there is no reason for pessimism in every thought. Treat me good and I'll do the same.

Ecod